So let’s make this perfectly clear: it’s Gerald’s world and the rest of us are merely taking up space, space that a guy like Gerald could use to, I don’t know, build a mountain with his bare hands or something. Then again, there is no guy like Gerald, so let’s just take a moment to simply stare in awe, shall we? Look at that impeccable beard, look at that impeccable style, and just bob in the wake of intimidating superiority that Gerald leaves behind him wherever he goes. Half James Bond, half Paul Bunyan and half John Wayne (yeah, we know that’s three halves, but with Gerald the math works) this is a guy who knows what he wants and goes out and makes it happen. When he wanted to water ski he went and dug his own lake for crying out loud. You think a guy like that is going to settle for inferior hair care products on his head and face? Whether he’s diving with sharks (yes, yes he has) or surviving a whiteout on the Matterhorn (yeah, the real one) you can bet your skinny, inferior backside he did it in style. Cuz that’s Gerald. So let’s all hail Gerald, the granddaddy of us all, the near-mythical uncle we all wish we had, and the Burley man of Burley men.